“The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” is an important book for everyone...
“The
Seven Habits of Highly Successful People”
by Stephen R. Covey
Review and précis by David King (April 1998)
The book is all about a journey each one of us must take in life. We start out in the land of Dependence, and our destination is Interdependence. However, it is not a straightforward route, nor is it easy going. We must travel via Independence. Interdependence is a higher value than independence.
Paradigms and Principles
There are two ethics which are discussed, the personality ethic and the character ethic. Up until about 50 years ago writers of self-improvement books concentrated on the character ethic, teaching that there are basic principles of effective living, and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.
But after World War 1 this view shifted and the personality ethic became popular. Success was seen as a function of personality, public image, attitudes and behaviors, skills and techniques, that lubricate the processes of human interaction. The personality ethic includes human and public relations, and the positive mental attitude.
But some parts of this personality-based approach were clearly manipulative and deceptive, encouraging people to do their best to get others to like them, or fake interest in the hobbies of others to get out of them what they wanted, or to intimidate others to get what they wanted. Image is more important than substance with the personality ethic.
But the quick-fix philosophies of today do not provide all the solutions. The elements of the personality ethic such as personality growth, communication skill training, and education in the field of influence and positive thinking, are beneficial, but only of secondary importance. A good foundation is needed, and that foundation is good character.
Paradigms
We need to understand our own paradigms and how to make a shift in these ways of thinking. Both the character ethic and the personality ethic are examples of social paradigms. The word paradigm comes from the Greek. It was originally a scientific term, and is more commonly used today to mean a model, theory, perception, assumption, or frame of reference. In the more general sense it is the way we see the world in terms of perception, understanding and interpreting.
A paradigm is like a map. Suppose you wanted to arrive at a specific location in Chicago (or some other city unfamiliar to you). A street map of the city would be a great help. But suppose you were given the wrong map, and it was actually a map of Detroit, even though labeled Chicago. Can you imagine the frustration and ineffectiveness of trying to reach your destination? Behavior and attitude could not help you if you start out with the wrong map. But once you get the right map, then diligence and attitude can make a real difference. But the first and most important requirement is the accuracy of the map.
We all carry maps in our head, which can be of the way things are (realities), or the way things should be (values). We interpret everything we see and experience through our mental maps, without ever questioning their accuracy. We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be.
The term paradigm shift was introduced by Thomas Kuhn in his book The Structure of Scientific Revolutions. He showed how almost every significant breakthrough in the field of scientific endeavor is first a break with tradition, with old ways of thinking, with old paradigms. For Ptolemy, the great Egyptian astronomer, the earth was the center of the universe. But Copernicus created a paradigm shift, and a great deal of resistance and persecution as well, by placing the sun at the center. Suddenly, everything took on a different interpretation.
The character ethic is based on the fundamental idea that there are principles that govern human effectiveness, which include fairness, integrity, honesty, human dignity, quality, excellence, service, potential patience, encouragement and nurturance.
We need a new deeper level of thinking — a paradigm based on the principles that accurately describe the territory of effective human being and interacting. This is what Stephen Covey's book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is about. It is a principle-centered character-based inside-out approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness.
Inside-out means to start first with self; with the most inside part of self —- with your paradigms, your character and your motives. If you want to have a happy marriage, be the kind of person who generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy. If you want to have a more pleasant consistent cooperative teenager, be a more understanding empathic consistent loving parent. If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in your job, be a more responsible helpful contributing employee. If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy. If you want the secondary greatness of recognised talent, focus first on primary greatness of character.
The Seven Habits Listed:
1–3 take us from dependence to independence, our private victory. 4–7 take us onto interdependence, our public victory.
Paradigms of interdependence
Effective interdependence can only be built on a foundation of true independence. There are no shortcuts — you cannot be successful with people if you have not yet paid the price of success with yourself. Self-mastery and self-discipline are the foundation of good relationships with other people. Independence is an achievement. Interdependence is a choice only independent people can make.
We all have an emotional bank account. We can make deposits into our account with others, or make withdrawals. Deposits are made through courtesy, kindness, honesty, and keeping my commitments to you. This builds up a reserve of trust. You will trust me when my account is high, and communication will be easy, instant and effective.
But if I show discourtesy, disrespect, cut you off, overreact, ignore you, betray your trust, or threaten you, then eventually my emotional bank account will be overdrawn. The trust gets very low.
Six major deposits you can make:
Dag Hammarskjold, past Secretary-General of the United Nations, once made a profound far-reaching statement: “It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labor diligently for the salvation of the masses”. You need to concentrate on personal relationships and get them right before you can effectively help the masses.
A Synopsis:
The bestselling guide to personal fulfillment and professional success — more than seven million paperback copies in print. Guided by Covey’s remarkable step-by-step program, readers will find more meaning and satisfaction in relationships, be better able to achieve personal and professional goals — and can look forward to lasting happiness and success. A wonderful book that could change your life. If you don't believe that a strong moral character is the foundation for a fulfilling life, you most likely will after reading this. The book also gives you tools (lists, diagrams, and organizer inserts) that aid you in becoming more highly effective. Stephen R. Covey provides deeply personal examples of his effective growth change. The book is inspiring.
| Buy this book online (and related items) from Amazon.com by clicking the pictures:   |
 |
     |
|